Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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