i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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