a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
