Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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