He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
