you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
