we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize