The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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