please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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