his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
