Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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