I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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