just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
