I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
