Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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