Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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