He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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