you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
