This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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