he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
