Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
