What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize