So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize