Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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