my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
