she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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