I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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