I need to stop coming to work sober
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
