So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
