i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
