Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
