it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Screwed.edu
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
