And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
