we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
