Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
