oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
