Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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