too bad you live with your parents still
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
