I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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