My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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