This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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