will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is Oprah even human
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
