There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
