Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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