when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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