we have officially lost it.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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