proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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