I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
