What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
