We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize