Sry I called you an 8
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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