I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
