can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
