I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
