she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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