At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize