I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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