god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
