well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
