remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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