I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
