super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
