Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize